51 Minutes

I'm an hour away from heading to Europe for the first time. I'm excited but im not. i guess ive grown so used to my roughtine that its going to be awkward to not have any responcibilities for a week. maybe its just what i need, i dont know. the whole effort to just get here has been such a bitch, so i really need to take it out on europe and raise hell while im there ha ha! its my first trip with my mom so it should be interesting to see if we can make it, were already at each others throats but its my fault.

im stupid and irrisponcible and today it effected a lot of people. i have some growing up to do...i feel embarased and mad at myself. as great as it feels to be here the $300 sketch plane ride up here with drug dealers just fucked up my plans for the clothing line, im not sure how much the cost home will be. Lesson learned, plan shit out and prepare for the worst. but money should never by any means ruin anything. plus the clothing line isnt here right now.
I am here.
for some reason.
if not any reason.
ill never be here again.
this moment will cease to exist.
and one day we'll stop.
if we never died, nothing would be beautiful.
so we should take everything in for what its worth.
and smile.

so i guess this is to leaving my comfort zone, experiencing new cultures, an unlimited buffet on the cruise (AHHHH!!!), nude beaches, not having a cell or internet, using sign language to getting around, tan lines, creepy smiles, hairy women, and eating a crepe that will give me the shits in italy and not being able to ask where the bathroom is!!
fuck it.
whats life without the risk and a taste of adventure.
i know im ready.

48 Minutes till take off.