51 Minutes

I'm an hour away from heading to Europe for the first time. I'm excited but im not. i guess ive grown so used to my roughtine that its going to be awkward to not have any responcibilities for a week. maybe its just what i need, i dont know. the whole effort to just get here has been such a bitch, so i really need to take it out on europe and raise hell while im there ha ha! its my first trip with my mom so it should be interesting to see if we can make it, were already at each others throats but its my fault.

im stupid and irrisponcible and today it effected a lot of people. i have some growing up to do...i feel embarased and mad at myself. as great as it feels to be here the $300 sketch plane ride up here with drug dealers just fucked up my plans for the clothing line, im not sure how much the cost home will be. Lesson learned, plan shit out and prepare for the worst. but money should never by any means ruin anything. plus the clothing line isnt here right now.
I am here.
for some reason.
if not any reason.
ill never be here again.
this moment will cease to exist.
and one day we'll stop.
if we never died, nothing would be beautiful.
so we should take everything in for what its worth.
and smile.

so i guess this is to leaving my comfort zone, experiencing new cultures, an unlimited buffet on the cruise (AHHHH!!!), nude beaches, not having a cell or internet, using sign language to getting around, tan lines, creepy smiles, hairy women, and eating a crepe that will give me the shits in italy and not being able to ask where the bathroom is!!
fuck it.
whats life without the risk and a taste of adventure.
i know im ready.

48 Minutes till take off.

Ive been going through these woods for too long

Lately theres been too much on my mind, by this time next week ill be with my mom in europe. Its going to be the first time we spend "quality" time together since I was a kid. I'm anxious but nervous for some reason. i keep thinking im going to get into some stupid situation similar to the movie hostel ha ha! i cant wait to get the fuck out of here. Even though the band is going through a slow phase we got some new materal today, it was in a different direction but its neat to push yourself to adapt to new situations. I like that about music, you either have to adapt or it just doesnt fit right...kinda how life is. The semester is over and ive been making the most of it!! Went out with Jade yesterday and had "interesting" convos, yet somehow I ended up seeing a grip of old faces...what i was trying to get away from. fuck. today I went out with Miguel, Alexis, and Ashley...its wierd how one can distance themselvs from people for stupid reasons, but it goes back to normal once you hang out again. tonight was a good night. tomorrow i get to make the screens for my clothing line, a day im prety much been dreaming about. i really hope the line catches around and that it will forever keep me connected/involved in the local music scene. i dont care about the moneyit brings, its all about the lessons learned and having good company. we'll see how things go. i still have a lot to figure out, things arent quite how i want them to be and people have been real shady this week, its what ever im sure i wont keep them around much longer. fuck drug addicts. fuck insecurities. fuck egos. fuck drama from the past. be yourself. love yourself. and if people can accept you for your flaws. fuck them.

its always best to remember what simple things truely make you happy, and persue them when your frustrated to ease your mind instead of going out any partying/getting fucked up. that would be to easy. maybe by stepping back and looking at what we love and what irritates us we can sort out who/what is worth our time and if its worth persueing. At the end of the day we'll all be just fine and in the morning our eyes will open again.

Sand Castles made of my Secrets

Birthday weekends are he best, Thursday I headed down to SD for a little adventure and visited my old friend Ash who I havent seen in dayyysss. Friday I had bolba, a crepe, and a nutella gellato with Amanda. Some random musicians played music and bike riders started breakdancing, traffic was a bitch. Saturday I headed to HB with my best friends and hung out till the funyons ran out ha ha. I took a chance this week...

Sunday was just the way I wanted it to be.

Today:

Hungry.

Still studying.

Equipment in boxes.

overwhelmed this week.

bring the stress.

the secrets.

bring the headaches.

over thinking.

throw everything you can.

fuck.

nothing will stop me.

I find it so amusing how much has changed in the last month, in the end all we can do is keep learning from our mistakes.

Look at my leaves...and tell me what you see?

City lights

5/12/2010 was the crazyest night ever, the club was packed and I was with all my friends for the first time at my beloved Club Moscow. I sat down and had my first family/friend dinner with the best of company and only those that mean everything to me. No homo. Kyle got me a strawberry growing kit....racist haha and dylan got me cookies!! Oddly enough my dad paid for the diner, he's never really done anything like that, even my best friends were in disbelief!!

we rushed our cheap jewish asses to the club so we could get in for free, the place really picked up around 11, talyn saved some crazy half naked david hasselhoff midget from jumping off the 2nd story railing, fine females were all over my friends, saw an old face and cleared things up, danced till our thighs went numb, and kept eveything classy. monique got a DUI and all the girls were too drunk to get back....$58 taxi. = 290 chicken nuggets lost. 4am arrival-7:30am wakeup=best sleep ever. i got my passport today, so im going to fucking EUROPE!!

photography much?

Time to be a man

Beaner clubs in P-town, bitches getting finger banged on the dance floor, tri-fecta blunts, road trips to downtown riverside, the mission inn, band practice, guacamole night with the hommies, fist pumping like champs, completing my sleeve, finishing the documentary, taking shots down like syndrome, seeing angie back from the DR, getting naked her party, and a late night talk by a firepit have seriously made the last few days of beeing a teenager worthwhile.
I ran into the singer of Suicide Silence during a photoshoot. It was so random, apparently he was getting married today. You would think someone so young and famous wouldn't want to settle down so quickly, but I guess he was lucky and found someone that could keep up. Cheers mate!

I got to do a shoot with my good friend Michelle, she somehow made the day fly by ha ha. this was her first shoot!

Im tripping out so hard on everything that life has thrown at me, and the truth that its only going to get harder in the future as I deal with new/complicated matters. I dont have doubt that I will accomplish my goals and dreams its just odd that as a child I would of never imagined myself as "the man I have come to be". I can truely say that I am happy with where my feet are now...and im glad that everything happened the way it did. I'm kinda scared to turn into an "adult" but it amuses me because I know ill only continue to grow. Its funny that as a child I used to tell people I wanted to save animals...

Dejavu= somethings going to change